


It's Been A Long Day (Without You)

by CosmoKid



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Sad Ending, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-11 17:16:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20157211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CosmoKid/pseuds/CosmoKid
Summary: Her name was Costia.She was the daughter of a merchant in Polis, always perched on the edge of the stall. Her hair was black, her skin dark and her eyes full of life.A brief look at Lexa and Costia's relationship before we met Lexa.





	It's Been A Long Day (Without You)

**Author's Note:**

> title from see you again by wiz khalifa and charlie puth

Her name was Costia.

She was the daughter of a merchant in Polis, always perched on the edge of the stall. Her hair was black, her skin dark and her eyes full of life. She looked at the world like it was hers to conquer as if there was nothing standing in her way.

Sometimes the light would catch her just right and her eyes would seem to sparkle like the stars in the night sky. There were nights where Lexa would look up and try to count them all.

There was something about documenting the world around her, counting the trees around them, the floors in the tower, the pebbles on the ground beneath her feet, the stars in the sky, the clouds above her head, the world. The world that could one day be hers.

Costia was part of that world, but when Lexa looked at her, she _was_ the world. She was all that Lexa could see, the only star in her sky.

Titus didn’t let them walk around freely, no matter how much Lexa begged. She yearned to be free, but Titus feared that someone might try to assassinate her or any of the other novitiates.

Whenever they could, Lexa made a beeline for Costia’s stall. Her Mother always addressed her like she was already Heda and scolded Costia for not doing the same. It never crossed her mind that Lexa could prefer it Costia's way, she liked it a lot more than the free scraps of cloths that Costia’s Mother gave her every time she visited.

Lexa liked Costia more than most things.

\--

Her name was Costia.

She was one of the best fighters Lexa faced outside of the other novitiates. Lexa wasn’t sure where she learned to fight the way she did, but she was one of the very few people who ever beat her.

They sparred in the moonlight when Lexa could sneak away and out of Titus’ careful eye. It was the most fun she had those days.

Titus had upped the training, said that Heda Kol isn’t happy with their progress. Her arms ached every night and her legs were weak when she finally collapsed on her bed. Even in the morning, it still hurt.

She was ahead of most of the others, no doubt thanks to the sparring with Costia, but that didn’t mean Titus was any easier on her. She was paired up against Luna most often and Lexa knew that she was holding back. She had a secret though Lexa didn’t care much what it is. She just knew she needed to train harder, to be able to run faster, to fight more, to make sure she won the conclave.

There wasn't much she cared about; she could count the list on one hand. Titus thought they should only care about becoming Heda and their responsibility to their people.

Sometimes Lexa wished she wasn’t a nightblood.

\--

Her name was Costia.

She had a voice like the wind. She sang for all of Polis and when she did, even the birds stopped to listen. She could sing eagles out of the sky.

Her voice could be heard from the training room and it’s the only thing that made it bearable. Every bead of sweat that dropped her forehead, every ache from her muscles, every pinprick of pain, _everything_ felt like nothing when she could hear Costia's voice float in from the marketplace.

All of Polis could hear her and Lexa swore that people would come from all around just to hear her.

\--

Her name was Costia.

Her hands were as soft as silk and her eyes were kind. Her embrace was as warm as the daylight. She was taller than Lexa and would place her chin on her head when they hugged. It was as if she was engulfed in Costia's embrace.

She felt secure in Costia’s arms, whether it was a quick hug at the stall or a cuddle when they lay on the grass under the moonlight.

The cloth from her stall would act as a blanket for them and Costia would let Lexa use her chest as a pillow. It wasn’t as comfortable as her bed in the tower, but there was nowhere else that Lexa wanted to be.

Her name was Costia and Lexa felt safe in her arms.

\--

Her name was Costia.

She was Lexa’s secret; novitiates couldn’t have distractions, especially not lovers.

Sometimes she missed her parents and her people, but it wasn’t a deep ache inside like the idea of losing Costia brought forward. Trikru was home, but Costia was something else, something more.

When she thought of her, the feeling overwhelmed her, took over. Her stomach flipped, her heart was in her throat and she was dizzy with joy. The corners of her lips would turn up and she swore you could see her smile from miles away.

“Love is weakness,” Heda Kol told her.

She didn’t agree; Costia was her strength.

\--

Her name was Costia.

Her lips were soft, her arms laced around Lexa’s neck, holding her close.

She wasn’t as strong as they were as young children, but that was okay. Lexa could lend her some of her strength though she had to admit that she did get a bit weak at the knees after kissing her.

The next day, her lips were still tingling. Throughout it, she would reach up and touch them, remembering how she felt. The jolt of electricity when they touched, the feeling of Costia’s lips on her own, the taste of it.

\--

Her name was Costia.

Titus didn’t approve, he thought that Costia would weaken Lexa. He doubled her training, exhausted her every day, pushed her until her muscles gave in.

“She won’t stay around when you win,” Titus told her and the frown that was permanently etched on his face was deeper than normal. For a moment, Lexa swore she could see a flicker of emotion in those cold eyes. “Not when she realizes what it’s like being with the commander. She won't be there.”

“She will,” Lexa insisted.

Titus shook her head, “You're a foolish girl, you don't know anything.”

"I know what you taught me," Lexa replied in a level voice though she glared at him, “And I also know that you’re wrong.”

"Love is weakness, Lexa," he said, holding his head up as if he couldn't stand to look at her.

"You don't know what you're talking about."

His nostrils glared, "You're a child, you-"

"A child who will be your commander," she interrupted in a cold voice. "You're dismissed."

"You don't dismiss me-"

"_Leave me_, Titus," she snapped, turning away from him and his scorn, "Leave before I do something I regret."

\--

Her name was Costia.

“I like it here,” she said, collapsing on the bed.

Lexa had to smile at the sight of it, “I like you in my bed.”

She laughed, bright as the day, “I’m still not calling you Heda.”

“I wouldn’t want it any other way,” she confessed. Costia was the only thing familiar to her now that she was Heda. No more daily training, no more lessons, just responsibilities and unwanted voices in her head.

“Good,” Costia decided, lifting her head up to look at Lexa. “It’d be much harder to love you if you wanted me to bow down to you.”

She rolls her eyes though she smiles, “We all know you’re in charge.”

Costia grinned, “Well if I am, you should get your ass into this bed with me.”

\--

Her name was Costia.

Her head was delivered to Lexa’s door. She threw up on sight, a deep ache settling into her stomach.

Though his eyes said _I told you so_, Titus’ face didn’t shift. “Nia has sent you a message, Heda.”

“I want her head,” she said, her voice as cold as the night. The voices in her head began to protest, but Lexa screamed at them to be quiet. “I will display it as a warning to my enemies.”

“Are you sure that killing Nia a wise choice, Heda?” Titus asked.

“_Don’t question me_,” she snapped and anger burned at her core. “I am Heda and you will not question me on this.”

\--

Her name was Costia.

“_She will be missed_,” she told the crowd, the words harder to get out in Trig. The speech that followed was supposed to honor her memory, but it didn’t, not the one in Lexa’s heart.

“Yu gonplei ste odon,” she whispered to the burning pyre.

_Love is weakness_, she thought, wiping away a tear before it could fall.

\--

“Her name was Costia,” she tells Clarke, the leader of the Sky People. “She was captured by the Ice Nation whose Queen believed she knew my secrets.”

\--

Her name was Costia and she’s nothing more than a memory.

**Author's Note:**

> deciding to write in past tense was the worst decision ever
> 
> Thanks for reading! <3
> 
> come cry with me on [tumblr](https://listen-to-the-inner-walrus.tumblr.com/)  



End file.
